I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
