real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
