North Korea, Best Korea!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
