$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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