think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
