You're so nebulous sometimes
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
