Cold hands, warm shart.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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