If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
