respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize