I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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