We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
