are you still at the devil's house?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize