I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
you never un-have a 4some
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
