if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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