Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
