Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
