could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Randomize
