check it out our google latitudes are spooning
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
