We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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