Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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