I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
