shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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