Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hippo gnu deer
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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