that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize