i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
