today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
