What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
