Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
