at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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