If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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