You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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