didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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