I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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