My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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