he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
