We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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