And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
