Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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