I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
