before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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