He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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