its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
