Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize