I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
