fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize