Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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