last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
