Grow some girl-balls and come out already
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
