Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
