Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
