Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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