Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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