...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
