i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize